Your first time in therapy? Let me show you the way...

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Considering therapy for the first time? Welcome! I've been in your shoes before. If counseling isn't something that you've heard about from your friends or family, and you are uncertain about expectations and how it works, you've come to the right place.

I can still remember when I went to counseling for the first time in 2010. I was in so much pain, and felt lost and alone about what to do with it. In other words, I felt desperate enough to try counseling. Images popped into my head: would I be laying on a sofa? would I be diagnosed as unstable? would my therapist think the issues I brought to counseling were not something there was help for? did I just need to get over "my problem" and stop feeling like people I loved put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger?

I called around to find someone who would take my medical insurance and who had an opening. I went on an agency wait-list (something I don't believe in with my own private practice and do not provide). Weeks passed and I finally received a call that there was an opening. I had already given the telephone wait-list interviewer some idea what I was dealing with.

There was paperwork: a questionnaire, informed consent, some screening for depression (a self-assessment), and other administrative tasks. My counselor focuses on CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I sat in a chair across from her in a private office, and we started the journey...my journey...of self-discovery and putting all the pieces together of my life, my family system, and my trauma. I cried, laughed, shared painful memories, read correspondence I had received from the hurtful people in my life. And slowly, I started healing, changing, growing, and found a new beginning. My new beginning!

Therapy opens up with a psycho-social assessment. This assessment asks questions about your experiences with mental health professionals, the issue that brings you into counseling, your support system, your family system, your educational background, your work history (if you have one), and your goals for counseling. We also ask about your strengths and weaknesses (we all have them), your trauma history (surprising, most of us have those too), We ask about any chronic health issues you deal with, any ongoing medications you take, who your medical provider is, what you do for self-care, if you use any substances like alcohol or illicit drugs like weed, etc., if you have a legal history, and how you identify yourself in terms of race, gender, religion, etc. In other words, we are gathering information to help us know what you bring into counseling -- both what may help you with your struggles -- and what might be harming you and preventing you from dealing with your struggles.

We spend the first few sessions just getting to know each other. I'm open to listening to whatever comes to mind about you that you think will help me know you better. What are your dreams? When did you first feel yourself experiencing anxiety? What do you think contributes to the issues you bring into counseling? Clearly, in counseling, YOU are the expert in your life! I'll also share about myself, in an appropriate way and about things we have in common that might help you realize I'm human and not some kind of know-it-all!

We will work on a treatment plan after the first few sessions, taking the issue that you brought into counseling, and finding a way to quantify your progress (or lack of progress) over time. Treatment plans are an important part of counseling. They help you focus on the issue you want to work on most, verbalize the ways in which you think you want to change, and provide you (and your counselor) with a roadmap to keep track of the progress. We are also required by insurance providers to come up with treatment plans, so we want to respect that and check that box too.

Counseling is focused on the issue(s) that cause you the most distress in your life! Since you are coming to therapy, the therapy is about YOU. How do you want to change regarding the issue(s)? Change is painful. Change can also be upsetting to those around you who are used to you being predictable and "the same." Counseling is about noticing how being "the same" might contribute to the painful issues in your life!

I was in counseling for five years. There is no set limit on the time you need to go to therapy. Instead, work on building a trusting relationship with someone who is trained to listen, do psycho-education where needed, be willing to laugh together, cry together, and be honest about change. Work on achieving your Treatment Plan goals and see what happens. Change is hard work and is scary. Pain is harder and scarier (just my opinion, of course).

You are the leader and the expert in this relationship. Your values are our guideposts. Your therapist has been trained to listen, not to judge or shame you. We are ethically responsible for making certain that we do no harm. And I am committed to being helpful, however much help you want or need. Whatever change you are ready for. I will roll up my sleeves and walk through your trauma with you. I will label your black and white thinking, your negative thoughts, your intrusive thoughts, your learned helplessness, your dysfunctional and traumatic family experiences. I will teach self-compassion, intention, assertiveness, boundaries. Somebody was there for me all those years ago. And it was life-changing. I am doing this work because of the help I received and the changes I made in my life.

Let me help you, if you think you are interested. And take care!